Not Your Granny’s Candles

Say goodbye to the sweet, flowery candles grandma loves. Not Your Granny’s Candles bring a bold twist to your space with their cheeky charm. Crafted by hand in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, these 100% soy wax candles are eco-friendly and built to last over 40 hours—longer than most of your promises. Pick from fresh, subtle scents that brighten your room without overdoing it. Light one up and enjoy the fun—just keep it a secret from Granny!

Stuck With Me - Smells like a serene ocean breeze kissed by soft florals, sea salt, and amber. Fresh, elegant, and calming—perfect for year-round relaxation.

Calm the F Down, Calm Your Tits, & Just Had Sex - Smells like a summer rain kissed orange blossoms and orchids, with a breeze through fresh-cut grass. Clean, fresh, and sweet—like nature’s perfume!

Coke & Hookers, Light Me When You Want a BJ - Smells like a forest breeze—green, sharp eucalyptus with a hint of mint and honey. Fresh, airy, and herbal with that classic tea tree kick.

Only Hoes - Smells like a salty ocean breeze with hints of cardamom, orange, and soft musk. Fresh, mineral-rich, and a touch mysterious—your beach escape in a jar.

These candles don’t have an expiration date, but for the best experience, try to burn them within 1-2 years. While the manufacturer and ingredients stay fresh, the scent might gently fade if lids are left open and exposed to air over time. No worries about any funky or stale smells here—these candles use mostly synthetic, clean, and non-toxic ingredients to keep things smelling fresh and fun!

These candles are not for internal or external use. Do not use them for massaging or as drip candles. The wax will be too hot and too stiff. They are strictly a decor or novelty item.